Saturday, August 18, 2012

Pornography & A Hidden Double Standard

Pornography is bad in all its forms, and while there are many facts and myths about the prevalence of pornography and its effects on society, here I'd just like to address one in particular that has been giving me cause for concern. More posts will come later, touching on other problems, facts, stories, and misconceptions.

Below is a widely accepted definition that is all encompassing, to include a religious take on the subject of pornography.

"Pornography is any material despicting or describing the human body or sexual conduct in a way that arouses sexual feelings. It is distributed through many media, including magazines, books, television, movies, music, and the Internet. It is as harmful to the Spirit as tobacco, alcohol, and drugs are to the body. Using pornographic material in any way is a violation of a commandment of God. “thou shalt not… commit adultery… nor do anything like unto it” (D&C 59:6). It can lead to other serious sins. Members of the Church should avoid pornography in any form and should oppose its production, distribution, and use." (Quoted from lds.org)

That part about it being “distributed through many media” including magazines and books is of particular interest here because those mediums are often overlooked. I’m not referring to Penthouse or Maxim, I’m talking about girly magazines and romance novels. Even at BYU the University owned and run by the church, with an almost exclusive student body of worthy student church members has apparently let the ball slip on this one by putting romance novels in their library.

The church is against romance novels and even labels them as another form of pornography, providing resources for those who become addicted. Yes that’s right, addicted. Interesting thing though, is that while the church gains substantial support for coming out against pornography, you know in its usual medium of videos and images of “female exploitation”, when it comes to pornographic literature, they seem to crusade that front alone, absent of support, while even facing opposition.

Society still displays these venues of porn out in the open for everyone to see such as in grocery stores with all the other literature, while covering up and even banning pornographic magazines. My personal opinion is that this is simply because women like romance novels, and therefore it is okay because porn is a male problem right? There is a huge double standard when it comes to women and sex. For example, I’m a pervert if I watch a trashy video, while its normal for her to read a saucy romance novel. I’m also a pervert if I like the triple tited hooker on Total Recall, while her watching Magic Mike is her just having a fun girls night out. This same example applies to me wanting to eat at Hooters, which isn’t even a strip join but a family restaurant, while she gets to have fun at Chip’n’dales, an actual strip join, yet I’m still the pervert.  It doesn’t even stop there, she gets to have all the sex she wants and is considered sexual liberated for doing so since apparently the word slut is being remodeled as if it were somehow a positive attribute, whereas if I desire sex, I’m a dog, a deviant, even a rapist. She even gets to have toys for her own pleasure, whereas if I masturbate, I’m a pathetic loser.

With pornography, whether literature or video, it makes no difference. There are many definitions for pornography, but all settle on the fact that it is material which causes sexual arousal or excitement and is portrayed through several mediums that deliver this arousal through the various senses. That’s right, not just the visual sense, but also the auditory. Then your mind becomes fixated on the fantasy, and causes your thoughts to dwell on what is being fed through the bodies senses. At this point it’s easy to see how one medium is essentially as destructive as the other, so why don’t more people come out against it? Well I already explained that earlier because of gender discrimination. If there is another reason please by all means say so because the only way to tackle a problem is to root it out at the source and we can only do that if we identify the actual source.

I’m against pornography even though I’ve viewed it before. I’m human and I’m fallow, so done judge me too harshly. The experience though has also shown me how destructive it can be. There are many reasons not to view pornography, the main one being that it detracts from the Spirit, but there are also practical reasons too. The same could be said for women because sometimes I really can tell when a woman is obsessed with fantasy sex. Part of it, is her unrealistic expectations for the relationship, as well as her inability to understand the basics about what men want or even need. Granted women are raised to believe men are simple creatures, stupid, easy to manipulate, etc. But with age comes wisdom and after trial and error many women begin to pick up on the fact that they were lied to growing up and begin their journey to understanding men as they are. Others do not because they are stuck in a world of fairy tales and fantasy, where they still believe in the indoctrinated delusion, that all men are like the big blubbering vaginas featured on soap opera TV or in their cheesy romance novels who seem possessed of the feminine mystique, and if they aren’t, it’s because they are losers and not worth a woman’s attention. That’s right, women grow old and alone because men are not worthy of their hand in marriage. So men need to man up and do their duty to the otherwise perfect female specimen that society has raised and he is squandering. Yea right, what a load of crap!

We have word to describe people who blame everyone else for their plight, its called narcissism.  Remember, the only consistently dysfunctional feature in all your relationships, is you. So I’m tired of men getting all the blame for the marriage failures of today, when many of the problems contributing to the breakdown have nothing to do with them, or are only partly to do with them. Honestly, it boils my blood to know that I’m doing everything I can to be the man she deserves, yet she is not doing likewise to be the woman I deserve, and yet the entire fault lies with me.

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